Realization

Having breast cancer is very much like being pregnant:

• I’m fatigued as hell

• I have a ton of doctor’s appointments

• I can’t plan for the future

• My husband answers all of calls, even if he's busy at work or in a meeting
• Instead of baby brain, I have cancer brain

• Something is growing inside me

• I keep feeling my bump to see if it's grown or moved

• I can’t exercise the way I want

• I want to snack all the time

• I’m voraciously hungry (although this goes along with the snacking, it’s different; voraciously hungry requires something with weight to it, like a veggie burger, whereas snacking is something “seemingly” light like peanut-butter-filled pretzels. Voracity will cause me to go through a Taco Bell drive-thru and get a Black Bean Grilled Cheese Burrito and then contemplate going through ANOTHER drive-thru TB WHILE I’M STILL DRIVING to order the exact same thing…I mean, it’s not like I’d be going to the SAME one twice…)

• I’m nesting (this one actually scares me a bit–like I’m cleaning out my hoard so that my family doesn’t have to do it over my dead body)

• I can’t get Elizabeth McGovern’s line from She’s Having a Baby out of my mind: “I gotta get it out! I gotta get it out!”